I thought this column by sex educator and writer Violet Blue for the San Francisco Chronicle was worth posting here, considering how many blog postings I’ve read where women, particularly self-proclaimed feminists, describe instances in which they have been the victims of sexist and/or misogynistic trollers who either bait writers on said writer’s site (which should be a safe space for free expression) OR take quotes from a post to a message board (or blog) elsewhere to talk about how “ugly,” “fat,” and “repressed” these “horrible feminists” must assuredly be. (As if appearance had any sort of relevance.)
I have to admit, even knowing the statistics on violence against women, it continues to shock me how aggressive and cruel trollers are, and how much they get off on their antagonism. (Through googling my own blog, I’ve found terrible things said about me, and refused to play into the bait. Particularly since their commentary has nothing to do with me personally, but with their feelings about women in general.)
Violet writes:
Like I, or any woman worth her weight in vagina, should give a toss what “viking116,” “toadytenderloins” or “bigdaddyhouston54” say about what we look like, our sexiness, or its relation to what we’re saying. No, that’s why we have friends (and editors, and in my case, agents and publishers). Everyone knows comments like that are from trolls who make any publication they’re associated with look bad, and they should be bitch-slapped from here to … at least the Tenderloin and back. They’re off-topic and thus easy to discount nonetheless, but would political sex and culture commentary from someone who looks like Pamela Anderson actually be taken seriously? Maybe by the editors at Maxim, but honestly, what girl wants the adoration of psychotic anonymous trolls?
I just write and talk about sex. But every woman on the Internet gets called slutty and ugly and fat (to put it lightly) no matter what; all we have to be is female.
The rest of the piece can be found via:
Ugly Violet
Every girl online is fat, ugly and unsexy. Here’s how to get over it.